First Pre-Race Blog: Loughborough International

I thought it was appropriate to put up how I feel about Saturday's race as I've been thinking about it a lot these past days. I am going to visit my ill Grandmother in London tomorrow which I am actually looking forward to; at the time I booked my train it was a bit of a chore. I think getting away for the couple of days before Sunday should keep me relaxed so I am not obsessing. The start list went up for Loughborough 3k the other day and it is difficult not to be intimidated by such a high class field. I rationalised things as quickly as I could and really nothing has changed just because they put the field online. I knew I was putting myself in a race where I’d be one of the slowest and I still know that if I run my own race and to my form I’ll have no problems, regardless of who is running (to a certain extent anyway!). the feeling of anxiety soon changed to one of excitement as at the end of the day, everyone in that race expects to beat me so what have I got to lose? The negativity that tries to seep in is over fears like ‘I don’t want to get really detached and look a clown’ and/or ‘I’ve been to altitude fir 3 weeks and people are bound to expect me to run well.’ I can honestly say that during a race it has never crossed my mind to think about other people’s reaction to my performance so why should I be worried about it before the race? When the start lists went up I briefly spoke with Phil and I could easily sense his concern: ‘are you going to be ok in that race?’ and I immediately answered ‘it’s about time I was.’ I’ve been to watch this race for each of the last 3 years, every time leaving with the desire to run in it next time. This is that year and I know that come Sunday, when I’m walking along the back straight, every sinew stiffened every sense on edge, that there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. Don’t get me wrong, this race is not the pinnacle of my running career or even my season, but I cannot help feeling the significance of this race trying to escape from inside me in the days leading up. Is this the race where I finally make some sort of breakthrough? I certainly feel a bit more under pressure after the fantastic performances of friends and rivals over the last few days but if they can do it, why can’t I? Anyway, however it goes on Sunday, at least I’ve documented how I’m feeling and maybe it will be helpful to others to see my thought process; I know I feel better for having written all this down. How about that for a first pre-race blog?